I don’t care what the odds are — be it health or chance — my husband just has to live forever. It’s for my daughter’s sake, especially my oldest daughter Robin.
Bob and Robin have such a wonderful relationship. It’s something I wanted for my children to have. I wanted them to be able to know their father, live with him, and have him a part of their everyday lives. One of things I considered a priority when I was dating was that the man I would marry would be a man who was dedicated to his children. And I am blessed to have just that, and so much more.
My father and I have a growing relationship. I am one of six children — the eldest. And although my parents were married and still are married to this day, the time we got to spend with my father was limited. He worked to provide for us and my mother stayed home to take care of us. I saw way more of my mother than I did my father and I always wanted to make sure that being a present father was something of importance to my husband.
Not only does my husband feel a need to be in his children’s life, he has a knack for fathering the children in his area of influence. We recently moved to Phoenix, AZ from the east coast, and wouldn’t you know it. The children in the local playground naturally clung to him. It was so funny to seem him try to ignore their hellos and waves. He was embarrassed, but I was proud. Here’s a man who makes children feel safe to be around him, without him trying. And I get the priviledge of spending my life with him.
So, you see, my husband can never leave this earth. When my daughter wakes up in the morning, and can’t find my husband because he’s working or out on an errand, you can hear the disappointment in her voice. He is a constant in her day, and I am sure my youngest daughter will have the same attachment to him, as she releases her death grip on me. LOL.
I know this blog is about mothering. But I feel what I want to give to my children, and what I am able to give them, would be so drastically different without my husband as the father he is. We are a team, and I don’t think mothers praise active and responsible fathers enough for all the love and parenting they bring to their families everyday.
I love you bey. I couldn’t what I do without you. And I know Robin and Alecia love and appreciate you too!
7 thoughts on “My Husband Can Never Die”
Your husband is a children’s man. I remember him at the rec center. Children flock to him. He has a gift.
This is beautiful!! I know precisely how you feel.
I love this post. I told the hubs that he had to give me 75 years of marriage – so that takes us to 100.
I was reading this and it struck me deep, going through a divorce.
I never, ever imagined I’d get married or have children. So when I found myself doing both in the same year, it was rather overwhelming. I knew, however, that the man I was marrying and going half on a baby with was a man who was dedicated to being a father. I saw it in his interaction with his daughter, who was only 2 when we got together. At 7, they still have a unique, precious bond. Before him, I never got serious with men who had children, but it was his fatherhood that made him most appealing to me.
One thing about this man, he LOVES his children and he is totally involved. In fact, he is picking up a lot of the slack now that I have a new, more demanding job. I love him for that. I know all too well that feeling of my child asking where his daddy is and it is something I’m working on dealing with. Except now, he is asking more about where Mommy is. But that man, he has parenting down to a unique science. I often joke that he’s the better parent. I’m only half-joking when I say it.
So though we are parting, we have a strong co-parenting relationship and friendship that puts the children as our primary focus and we make it work. Family time is a regular occurence and we love the unique family we have.
What else can I add but say that if my husband reads this that he can’t die either. When I was hospitalized early in 2009 I knew that I found the One for me. And he’s a great daddy. I don’t always agree with his parenting ways, but he loves his kids fiercely. And that is excellent.
That was beautiful!!!
I think often of the relationships between father and daughters. My mother wasn’t happy with her relationship with her father, and wanted a better relationship for me and my father. Unfortunately, my relationship with my father is also strained, and now I hold on to hope for a good relationship between my husband and daughter. I think we’ve finally broken the cycle, as they are in love with each other! It’s so important, as a girl’s relationship with her father sets the tone for her relationships with men later in life.