Back In the Game

My baby turned six yesterday. And though it was a day like any other, this particular birthday felt significant. When my daughter was born six years ago, I stopped working. I had always felt that the first five years in a child’s life are significant and wanted to be around for them, though it felt like such a luxury for us to try to live on one income alone.

 

And though I admitted it to no one, it was good timing in other ways. I had been working in a career I disliked for so long without really knowing how to shift direction into another industry I longed to be a part of. The baby provided a perfect excuse for me to step off that first roller coaster and reassess, though I assured myself and my husband that I would stay home for only one year only before I would start looking for another job.

 

A year and half later, my second baby was born and that stretched out my hiatus for another year and a half. And then we moved and then life happened in all its messy, dramatic glory. Six years later and my baby girl is preparing to enter first grade in a few months and my boy will turn five several months later. And I’m back at that same place I was six years ago, albeit with a few more gray hairs, and three or four more suitcases’ worth of life baggage.

 

I’m getting ready to step back into the race, though this time I have more clarity about what I want and maybe even more audacity. I’m intent on trying to connect to my purpose, to be of some sort of service to humanity, and to do what makes me happy. And though I’m doing it all for myself, a part of me knows how important it is for my children to have a mother who is fulfilled, productive and happy.

 

And if I fail … well, maybe it is equally important for my kids to see how important it is to reach for the stars, even if you can’t always touch them.

2 thoughts on “Back In the Game

  1. Every time I want to give up, say I’m not smart enough, or we don’t have enough money, or I’m too sick even though I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I remember just that – I stay in the game not only for me, but so my kids can see what not giving up looks like. So they can see that it’s not easy, maybe for some it is, but for most it’s not, but even the process can be worth it. I don’t want them to watch me struggle through it, I want them to watch me live through it.

    Like

  2. Go for it, Nazie! It’s not only your children who will benefit from watching you connect with your purpose, but all of us adults around you who also need reminders that a purpose-driven life is a beautiful one.

    On another note, I’d love to hear more about why you decided to stay home with your children for the 1st five years or so. When we discuss whether children do or do not need their mothers more than their fathers, or whether it’s optimal for women to stay home if they can and want to, I’ve always hoped you’d chime in with a little about your experience. Unless I’m mistaken, most of the mothers on the blog do not consider themselves “stay-at-home,” nor do they want to be. Although I’ve been home, I don’t really consider myself stay-at-home either. I was hoping to hear more from someone who purposely chose to stay home, with the idea that it was best for her children.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s