I’m just regular and plain, Black people brown #3. My hair is natural though my curls are inconsistent. I don’t have light eyes or big breasts, not overweight or thin. I am really just average and normal and unremarkable. I dress conservatively, though I love a sexy shoe. The only thing that might grab your attention if you passed me on the street is my height, which I had nothing to do with. My teeth aren’t perfectly straight nor have they been professionally whitened. While I’d love to have First Lady Obama arms I do nothing to tone mine. I’m sure I had a waist before becoming a mom, now a muffin top is my reality. I’m not down playing any attributes I have; only confirming the simplicity of my existence and my complete alrightness with it. I haven’t always been so accepting.
Like many people, I played the compare & contrast game relentlessly, oftentimes coming up short. Even though everybody does it, self-judgment is a wickedly personal game – without a winner. The feeling of not measuring up is certainly easy to luxuriate in as there are so many opportunities to learn how to improve yourself or get the latest on who has it better than you. TV shows and magazines bombard us with information about who is wearing what, what her trinket cost, how many cars he has. We get advice 24/7 on where to shop, vacation, get educated…how to have sex, when to have sex, what kind of socks keep you warmest….no matter the topic there is always a better (possible) way.
Does this obsessive focus inward serve us? I think not. America seems to have a national do-it-yourself psychosis where the number one project is self. We spend so much time and energy focused on getting better that our time spent BEING
- happy that your plant is still alive
- excited about getting a close parking space
- comfortable in a bed with fresh, clean sheets
- relaxed, enjoying a glass of wine
- enchanted with snowflakes
Of course I understand that not every day is giggle worthy and that people can be a pain in the ass. I could certainly lose weight, eat healthier, meditate and rearrange my closet. There is so much improvement possible!
Right now though? I’m declaring myself satisfied. On this day, I’m good. I’m giving myself a break from the pursuit of possibility, the wonderings of what if. I am exactly what I need right now and my offering to the world is complete in this package, nary a bell nor whistle in sight. I accept my regular self and invite you to give it a rest and just BE.
Celebrate with me! December 9th is I’m Good Day.
Inspired by an excellent article on the price of the (obsessive) pursuit of happiness, found here