“Can I Sleep With You Mommy?”

This question has come from my son more frequently recently, and I find myself unable to say “No”.

Yesterday was my first day of leaving my new job and picking my son up from his abuela’s house and taking him home. At first, he asked “Is daddy coming?” and I had to reply “No, baby he isn’t”. He kind of frowned, but then sighed and said “Ooookay”. He then ran around the house, playing around, not wanting to get fully dressed. I spoke with his abuela and she said “You know, if you ever want to just leave him overnight, it’s fine”. I had to explain to her that it is important for me to spend time alone with him and bring him to my home, which is the home he has known most of his life.

I’m noticing he is showing a preference for being there. And why shouldn’t he? He has more family members there, grandparents are always nicer, and it’s far more stable. I told her that there may be some nights that I come and take him out for a few hours and bring him back, but for now, I’m working on getting him more used to going back and forth. Part of me wonders if I should be doing even that, since I plan to move at the end of the year.

Maybe during this time, he should have as little back and forth as possible. Maybe, I ought to put my own desires to stake my claim as an equal parent aside, and focus on creating more stability for him. Maybe, I do need this time to myself. I don’t know. I guess I need to discuss it further with his father after this week is done.

This is so hard. It makes me even more angry at things that transpired between his father and I that led to this point. I’m in a much better place now, and my life is going so wel in other areas, so I’m trying to not let any negative emotions take over right now.

But it’s still so hard.

So for now, if he wants to sleep with me when he is here, I will let him. He misses his Mommy and wants to feel my warmth and comfort as much as he can.I will give him whatever he wants and needs right now.

That’s what Mommies do.

4 thoughts on ““Can I Sleep With You Mommy?”

  1. As long as it feels good and right to you and him, I say go for it. When my babies were born, they slept with me, amidst all the admonishments from everybody and their mama not to let them. I knew what they needed, cuz I was their mommy and they were my babies. When it didn’t feel right anymore, because they were too busy and I wasn’t getting any sleep, or because my husband just couldn’t take it anymore and it was bad for the family as a whole, we made a change. But you know what’s best, and I think it’s great that you are doing what’s best for you guys right now. He’ll remember that. Some of my fave times right now are when my babies climb into my bed and watch TV. It’s awesome.

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  2. I’ve never had much of a problem with him sleeping with me/us. Usually, he’d make his way there in the middle of the night. Its just that now, he refuses to go to sleep in his own bed anymore because when he is over there, there is almost always someone in the room with him when he goes to sleep.

    We worked out an arrangement today that would mean less back and forth for him, but what amounts to more time with me. I’m going to take him on weekends. When I think about it, in terms of spending time, it comes out to more than I would get during the weeknights I’d take him anyway. I feel better about this. I get the space I need during the week, and the time I need with my baby on weekends.

    And first and foremost, he will feel a lot more stable. Thats whats most important to me right now.

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  3. I’m so happy that worked out for both of you as a family. I wonder, what are you going to do with your weekday time, now that you are newly single in the city (maybe you’ll write a post about it, hint, hint)??

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  4. Ewwwww, single in the city 🙂 Flashbacks to the ‘Go. Art museums, movie theaters, a five-day, no repeats, I-Tunes playlist 🙂

    Don’t forget that you could pick up the little guy during the week for a “date night.” Take him to Chuckie Cheese or some place a lot cooler since you are in the city 🙂

    Tanji

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